I’ve gone back and forth on sharing a more personal side to myself and giving my perspective on my battle with depression and anxiety or just keeping that locked away inside away from the rest of the world. Of course, what I want to do is the latter and keep all the ugly out of the light of day. However, I’m afraid I’m not going to get away because God has been poking me (figuratively speaking) and saying, “Hey Shelby, you should open up about that and share it with the world you never know who it’s going to help.” I’ve been resisting this call because I didn’t know how to go about it, but just today when I got a slap in the face that I have this platform where I can freely write and share about my experience.

So here we are on the first segment of My Brain Doesn’t Quite Work Like its Supposed To, ok maybe not that but we can work on the name. Don’t worry though, I may have a lot of stories and insights about my experience with mental illness, but I don’t think I have quite a whole semesters worth, so I will be writing about other things as well, so if this idea makes you sad don’t abandon all hope in my blog I will write about other things as well.

Today’s realization is being kind to yourself, even when you’re “better.” I’ve been off a lot these last couple weeks, and my anxiety has been kind of high. But I hadn’t really been acknowledging it because it wasn’t as bad as it has been in the past, so therefore I thought I should just be able to toughen up and ignore it. But then I realized that just as I learned to be forgiving of myself when I was really in a dark place, I should be forgiving and acknowledging the feelings I have even if I think that they aren’t as severe. They are still valid, they still affect me, and I’m allowed to say that I’m having a rough go of it even if I’m still able to function.

Acknowledging those tough emotions and having to take time to work through them and take care of yourself is not a setback. 

Be kind your self; it doesn’t matter if you’ve had it harder in the past or even if you feel that someone else has it harder than you, so you shouldn’t be bothered y what you’re feeling. None of that matters; what matters is your reality at the moment, and if you’re not in the place that you can be comfortable in, then you have a right to whatever emotions you may be feeling. No one has a right to tell you that you shouldn’t be feeling that way because they aren’t inside your head and heart. Take time to take care of yourself; it doesn’t matter how big or small the stress or whatever you felling is, you deserve to feel the best you can.